Let's just say that last night .. Was the first night since Soldier deployed that I let loose and legitimately had a ton of fun. I danced and sang all night, yes .. I might have had one too many drinks, but that is why I have such great friends to always look after me when Soldier isn't here. We hung outside all night long and although there wasn't technically a dance floor outside, I made one. We danced on the benches, I was having fun with the security guard because he kept yelling at me for dancing on the benches .. But he was cool and laughing and let me sneak a couple minutes up there. I was just a dance machine last night, dancing all over the place. It was literally so much fun, I cannot say it enough. I am really glad I went out, I deserved that and definitly needed that. Now it will probably be another six months until I fully let loose again, back to hibernation mode.
I am just not a big partier, especially since Soldier is gone. And of course, the one night I do go out is when Soldier is available to communicate. Awesome. He wasn't mad, he was just .. I think upset and jealous. Which is understandable. Which .. Makes me feel horrible. So the typical girl that I am and lightweight, emotional drunk that I am .. I cried at the end of the night. But it was a good cry. The type that you have been needing and there is a reason but you just keep crying because of everything you have bottled up for so, so long. My friends understood, they know how much I miss Soldier and how much I wish he could have been there. So, naturally .. I woke up this morning feeling guilty. I always do that. Whenever I go out, I feel guilty because Soldier isn't here. He's out fighting a war and I went out and had fun without him. Unfair. I know he wants me to go out and have a good time and not be completely miserable when he's gone, but I can't help feeling guilty and sad that I went and did that without him. I have yet to talk to him, I have emailed him .. But we all know that Soldier isn't good at sending emails, he just likes receiving them.
I know he will get online when he has the time. Work and war comes first and foremost. I just, at least, want R&R here already. I miss him. A lot.
All in all, last night was a really good night and I am really glad I went out. I needed it. I just wish it was with ... Him.
Enjoy today's photograph. Until next time ...
The Great Challenge: Day Fourteen ...
Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without .. (January 14, 2011)
Our little family .. They all three are my rocks and I am incredibly grateful for having them in my life and by my side each and every day. Yes .. Even my two boys who do not speak, but yet show me more and more love and emotion every single day. I can always rely on these three to wipe my tears and make me laugh.
Our little family .. They all three are my rocks and I am incredibly grateful for having them in my life and by my side each and every day. Yes .. Even my two boys who do not speak, but yet show me more and more love and emotion every single day. I can always rely on these three to wipe my tears and make me laugh.
Sidenote: I wanted to include my parents, sister and her fiancee, and my in-laws also because I would be completely and utterly lost with out any of these people in my life and to keep me going through each and every day .. But I figured combining all those photographs would just have been a little too much. So I kept it simple and just made it about our little Milo family.
No comments:
Post a Comment