Welcome Home ...

To Soldier's unit arriving home from Afghanistan after a long, hard year! They fought well and kept their heads high through every situation they were dealt with.

With all the excitement and happiness I have for all of Soldier's fellow brothers to finally be home .. I can't help but to also have a heavy heart.

One guy is not coming home. That one guy is not just anyone, it was Soldier's really good friend and brother. He not only deployed with him this time around but also his first deployment to Iraq. He looked after him when Soldier was faced with a near-death experience and has continued to always be by his side through his deployment.

How is it fair that we celebrate, show our pride and love as our brave soldier's come home .. And yet, his widow does not get that chance.

Soldier went to dinner with his widow and she is having a really rough time. She has yet to go through any of his stuff that was sent back from Afghanistan. She mentioned she wanted both of us to go over and to help her sort through everything and also said she wanted Soldier to take some of his things because she doesn't know what to do with them or can't look at them anymore without breaking down.

Can you say heartbreak? Jeez. Poor girl, what did she do to deserve this? Nothing.

It could have been anyone. I wish it wasn't him and yet I would never wish it upon anyone else.

No matter the heaviness I feel in my heart .. I still am overwhelmed with excitement and just pure happiness and relief that we have survived yet another deployment and that although we did lose a great person and soldier over there .. Soldier's friends and brothers are all coming home safe and sound to their families.

Soldier gained one hell of a guardian angel .. And without him up there, I might not have my Soldier here today.

Thank you, Eric.
For all you've done.
Keep looking after Soldier. Keep sending signs. I know Soldier loves that .. Plus I loved that little turtle in our backyard, bring him around again. :)

Miss you.
You are never forgotten.

Until next time ...

Link up ...

 

I miss California .. Plain and simple.

We head back for a visit at the end of this month. Soldier hasn't been home in almost two years now and it's been almost eight months for me.

Needless to say .. It is well overdue.

We are both giddy and anxious like it is Christmas time.

No matter where the Army sends us and where we call home .. California will always have our hearts.

Plus .. This song always reminds me of the OC. Soldier's girlfriend is Summer and my boyfriend is the ever so sexy and bad boy Volchok. :)

 

Until next time ...

Heavy Heart ...

So some may call me crazy .. Well maybe more than some, but I have a tab on my home page for the Casualties website for the Afghanistan and Iraq war. I honestly do not have a good enough reason to explain why I have it or let alone check it every day. Maybe it is because ever since our personal casualty that we experienced in our deployment, I feel the need or want to read, know, and memorialize those names that are updated almost every day. Those names that have given the ultimate sacrifice so I can continue to live my life and type this very blog.

Today, though, I have a heavier heart than usual after checking my weird daily habit .. There were five ISAF servicemembers that were taken from us due to a suicide bomber.

Soldier was almost taken from us by a suicide bomber. He actually should have been taken, but someone or a couple of people were looking out for him that day. Him along with his fellow brothers should not be here today, I would be living a completely different life than the one I am living.

It makes me realize how lucky I am. I never want to take for granted the life I am living .. With my Soldier and having him home safe and sound. It is not fair for those families to have to go through such heartbreak and grief. I wish so badly I could take away the pain and hurt. Those five servicemembers will forever be in my heart, forever in my thoughts, and they will never be forgotten. Along with the thousands of other servicemembers that have so bravely risked their lives for us .. And those thousands of servicemembers that continue each and every single day without any pause to risk their lives and make sure that me and everyone else still have their freedom.

This is for you. All of you. My heart is filled of pride, love, and eternal support.

Until next time ...

Double life ...

Do you ever feel like someone else got lucky enough to live your life ...

Yeah, I've felt that way for certain situations. Sucks.

I mean, don't get me wrong .. I am more than happy for that specific person, well I should be since it's the life I wish to have at that moment.

Moreso, I am happy for them because they do deserve it .. Well some people.

Anyways .. I feel that there are several certain people that are living different situations that I wish me and Soldier could be living. Maybe luck just is not on our side as of right now.

Everything happens for a reason .. Right? I am sure there is a reason why those people get lucky and Soldier and I are patiently waiting for our turn.

Bleh. Am I making any sense? I don't feel like getting into specifics because I have been told too many times that I am worrying over nothing and that when the time is right .. It will come.

I know, I know. I can't hear that enough, but sometimes that is just not what I want to hear.

I am not a patient person .. Well, actually I am since I have waited for Soldier for x amount of months while he plays kill the bad guys.

But, I am not a patient person when it comes to things that I want to be happening right now. I know things take time and they do not happen over night .. But god damn it .. I want it now! *stomps feet*

*Sigh* .. Just keep waiting, patiently. Feels like that is so common in my life. Not that it's a bad thing, just I think "patience" should be my life moto.

Good things come to those who wait .. And even better things to those who wait longer!

Apologies for the ramblings .. My mind is all over the place and I just had a need to get it written out rather than staying in there and causing more worry, stress, and impatientness. (If that is even a word)

Hopefully next blog makes more sense and is in a better mood.

Until next time ...

Knock ... Knock ...

Ohhh .... Why, Hello!

:(

I've been a baaaaad blogger. Shame on me.

Not too much going on here. Just haven't felt like writing lately.

Ever feel that way?

What makes you get back into it?

I love my blog, all my followers, and the fellow blogs I follow. I need and want to get back into writing.

Someone help. I need some motivation to get writing again.

Blah.

I do apologize. I do. More than you know.

I will do better. That's a promise!!!

Stick around, stay with me. I will write again soon. Maybe with some updates, but I am really not too sure where to start with the updates.

Until next time ...

Wordless Wednesday ...

Minus the words from the video

But you get the point .. Enjoy!



Happy Easter ...

Happy Easter my blogger family.

I do apologize so, so, SO much on how invisible I have been. I know I promised a juicy, gossipy, venting post but I just honestly haven't been in the mood to write .. Let alone vent. It will come. I promise you that.

Long story short (or in other words, just wait for another post) Soldier is home for good. Due to his incident back in January his Chain of Command, himself, and myself have all discussed and decided that since he was more injured than we thought it is better that he stays behind and gets the right medical treatment he needs. It is best for his health and our family and for once, he is being selfish and wanting to make sure he is 100% before we PCS in November.

Oh yes. Surprise! We are planning to PCS to Fort Campbell, Kentucky come November. I am so excited, it will be our first PCS as a family .. Since Bragg has been Soldier's home for four years and mine for two years .. And I am just ready to see and experience a new place. I hear it is beautiful there .. But also you hear the worst of it. I think every place has it's ups and downs and in the end it is what you make of it yourself.

There is/was only about three months left of this deployment so that also helped make the decision a little easier because it was only three months compared to like eight months left. It was very difficult for Soldier to make this decision, he didn't want to leave his fellow brothers behind but they all agreed and told him to stay back and even said themselves, "it is what they would do." So we feel very well about our decision, he still makes comments about wishing he went back .. Which is totally understandable but he knows he needs to make sure he is okay before risking any more injuries or even anything worse. Eeek. Don't want to think about that.

Uhm .. Also long story short, a part of Soldier was not wanting to go back because there was a bunch of bullshit/rumors/drama that had gone on with his old Platoon that cause a lot of fallouts and even an investigation on Soldier .. Which in our defense they all came out completely FALSE and the guy who made the rumors is a huge, complete asshole who was jealous of Soldier's promotion and just the general great soldier that he is.

Side note: If I ever see that asshole, you can beat he will get a swift kick in the balls .. If he even has any. But like I said, more on that later. Not too sure how in depth I will get, due to our own personal privacy, but the vent session will come out.

Which that leads me to where I was going to vent about judgmental people. I have lost a lot of Military wife friends due to that stupid investigation because people like to immediately think that someone is a horrible person .. When in fact some of the wives I have known the entire two years I have lived here, and Soldier has known and DEPLOYED with their husbands the past four years. So .. Uh .. If you believe some stupid rumors over facts that you have known for four years, then obviously YOU are not good people and we do not deserve you in our lives. I had a ton more to say but I am trying to recap on everything I've missed and am scattered brain.

So I apologize if this seems all over the world, because it is, and I am just trying to get caught up.

*Sigh*

Okay, next? School is almost over. Week and a half and I will finally be on Summer break. I am hoping to get a babysitting job to make some extra cash and hope to internship with the local police department to gain some experience on crime scenes and processing evidence. Wish me luck .. You know I will be updating you on that.

The boys were so incredibly excited to see Soldier. As was I, of course. I know I didn't blog about our "R&R" time but I will dedicate a blog post of some pictures and the video of the boys reuniting with their Daddy within the next week. Promise. It's so adorable. You will love it. I guarantee.

I haven't been able to run much, and I miss it. I did run a 5K about a week ago and my running partner and friend of mine did in fact beat our last 5K run. So what does that tell you about not running for three weeks then doing a little marathon. I was pretty damn proud of myself and definitly plan to get back into the swing of things. Soldier and I have been readjusting to our lives .. Especially since it was kind of just thrown at us .. But we are doing very well. It is so nice (yet an adjustment) not having the whole bed to myself. Definitly something I have missed and am cherishing every moment of.

I think I jinxed myself since I ordered my "Welcome Home" banner a little early, so I showed that to Soldier and he said it was very nice and thinks it turned out great. Maybe I'll save that for next deployment. Oh, Sarah. Too far ahead to think. A teeny, little part of me is sad that we won't be having another homecoming experience .. Just because the emotions and experience is something everyone should go through, at least once in their lives. That waiting and anticipation for x amount of months/days your loved one has been gone .. Then seeing them step off that plane or bus, march into where ever they have you wait, and see that handsome face on United States soil and only like 10 feet away from you is something that is undescribable. Please experience it. At least once. Luckily .. Wait, is it lucky? We have gone through a deployment before and have been able to experience a homecoming, and at that time we had gone 10 months without seeing each other, so it made it that more special.

But you deal with the cards your given and now we will be focusing our attention on doctor appointments .. Yayyyy *rolls eyes*. Soldier and I have had an awful experience with doctors and hospitals about two years ago. Another long story short .. He came home from deployment, misdiagnosed and we were sent on a unimaginable roller coaster ride .. Starting from brain tumor, "you only have six months to live", epilepsy all the way to "there are no signs of seizures, you were misdiagnosed." Boom. He was healthy again after being taken off all his insane medications. I hate doctors, I hate medications, I hate hospitals. Let's just leave it at that.

This time around we said first thing .. No guinea pig experiments, no zombie-like Soldier, no misdiagnosis, and no stupid doctors trying to make Soldier a test dummy. We are not going through that year long roller coaster again. Soldier doesn't want to, and I don't want to. It was so bad. Ugh, I hate even thinking about it. I wish I could have blogged through that experience, my readers would have been mind blown to have heard the things we were told and read the things we were experiencing. Definitly not the ideal first year of marriage .. But you grow with it and learn and all it did was make us, as a couple, so much stronger. In a way, I am grateful for it .. Uh, no. I'm not actually. I am just grateful he is healthy and will continue to become healthier.

I'm rambling. I guess I should blog about my blog title.

HAPPY EASTER everyone. I am not too religious, but please remember what Easter is all about.

Easter egg hunts, the Easter bunny, and of course .. CHOCOLATE!

Just kidding.

Cherish it with family and friends .. If you are celebrating this holiday with a loved one deployed, my thoughts are always with you, your family, and servicemember. I hope they continue to be safe, come home soon, and are able to call you on this holiday.

I am definitly going to make sure I blog more often. I have missed it so much and is my one scapegoat from this crazy world we live in. I hope everyone is doing well and I have missed you, terribly.

I am sure I have forgotten a ton of things, but if you lasted this long .. I give you a big high five and a swift pat on the back.

Until next time ...